and i was positive that unless i got myself together i would watch me fall apart.

okay.
so today was pretty awesome, not gonna lie.
actually i had a revelation today.
telling the truth, makes you feel SO much better than anything else.
if you didn't know, i've been basically living a lie or hiding stuff from my parents basically all school year. there was always something i wasn't telling them. or something i wasn't telling someone. on sunday it ALL came out. i mean basically everything that i have ever hid this year and it sucked that day, but now i realize that it feels amazing not having anything hidden. i really really want to keep that up. im ready for a care free summer. but not so care free that i don't do my homework. i am trying for straight a's and maybe a b this quarter. second honors at least. and its gonna be hard, but i need it now. so yeah


thats it really i guess.
here are some lyrics.
they are fantastic.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
That it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back.

I'm sorry for the person I became.
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again
'cause who I am hates who I've been.
Who I am hates who I've been.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
To create so much pressure that I'll soon blow up.

I heard the reverberating footsteps
Synching up to the beating of my heart,
And I was positive that unless I got myself together,
I would watch me fall apart.


its scary how much that applies to me.
i literally listened to it on a bus in france, and it took everything in me to not have a full on panic attack/breakdown.



done done done done.